Like many of you, I live the “home learning life.” My son takes K¹² courses, and they have served his needs very well. Going into 8th grade however, we decided that it was a golden opportunity for him to learn about two of the most important and increasingly rare commodities – leadership and character.

In the traditional classroom setting, the hope has always been that teachers were people of outstanding character. I remember in my first teaching interview in 1986 answering a question in a way that showed that I embraced and cherished that part of teaching. We all realize that as the learning environment changes, the challenge does as well. Though they may still have outstanding teachers, a more virtual environment shifts the teaching of these “intangibles” back to us.  Now we are the role models! ACK! I don’t know about you, but my son sees every flaw and mistake in both of us! So what did we do?

First, I created a formal course that he takes part in called “Leadership.” It consists of six books and a blog. The books we choose together and consider 1 ½ to 2 months a reasonable time to go through them. First up was “Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell. Next, “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens.” My son has a blog, and part of his responsibility is to blog in a free-writing fashion about what he has read. I do not check for grammar or other such things, because I want his thoughts – I want to know what he got out of what he read. Feel free to look, comment and be a part of the learning process!

Second, we have developed a phrase that serves us well: “reputation is what people see, but character is who you are.” This has helped as he sees that we are all flawed as people. He sees people in the public eye make mistakes. He sees us as parents make mistakes. Most importantly, he makes mistakes. I will avoid many clichés here but one that fits is “it isn’t about falling down, as much as it is about how quickly you get up, and what you do then”. A great part of this discussion we have is about how important the balance between confidence and humility makes us competent yet empathetic.

The Holidays offer many opportunities to reinforce this point. Visiting relatives is always both exciting and challenging. Certainly there is much to discuss on the character versus reputation spectrum. Also, humility is important. In past years we have championed canned food drives so that part of the focus was not on our presents but helping people less fortunate. Sometimes those less fortunate live right around the corner!

So to all of you, Happy Holidays. You can help me out with a gift if you don’t mind. We have four books left, and I would love some suggestions. What are some books about leadership and character that you think would be appropriate for a 13 year-old? Also, what are some things that you do to help build empathy with your children? I’m curious to read your responses!

Similar Posts:

Share